But the GOP does not want to declare him a winner because of outstanding ballots. Instead they are declaring it a tie. Willard "Mittens" Romney did not win. But he did get a bump worth millions. He is worth even more, with millions of that wealth parked offshore in a Cayman Island tax haven account, along with secret Bain Capital treasures from its adventures in Vulture Capitalism.
Rick Perry withdrew from the race today and is backing Newton Gingrich. But Gingrich's ex wife is set to tell all on TV: He is a rapacious swinger who wanted a free pass to cheat on hier, when she was already being cheated on, but she would not give it. So he divorced her. He converted to Catholicism, so if he cheats now, he will probably not divorce. No promises.
He married his mistress, Calista, since she was open to him being married to someone else at the time, so it would not be "cheating." Nevertheless, he is about to be sunk in the polls -- just as he was closing in on Mitt Romney with an embarrassing attack that brought American-style capitalism into question.
Republican contributors told all involved to knock it off. But Gingrich is a spoiler, more intent on bringing down Romney than Obama. Meanwhile, racist (anti-EPA) gynecologist Dr. Ron Paul could escape the fray and come out on top. But his nonstop attacks on government-corporate collusion in ruining the economy and dragging us into war after war has not gone over well with bankers. They will not allow him to ascend to the pretend throne.
The fix is in. We will have B.S. Obama whether we like it or not. A billion dollars in campaign contributions ensures that. If we are lucky he will continue being president of the US, Inc. (rather than the country). If we are unlucky, he will be set up as a benevolent dictator with the help of the NDAA and other bills currently floating through Congress. But as commander and chief of the military-industrial complex, he is sure to violate the constitution he (allegedly) used to teach.
Romney can only hope something goes wrong, perhaps by divine intervention. Dick Santorum? He does not have a chance, but he does have the most interesting marriage:
Long ago a mature abortion doctor helped in the birth of a girl, Karen. Twenty-two years later he began dating her. (Karma is strange that way). She was in her 20s, he in his 60s. After six years, she pressured him to have a baby. He was not interested, possibly because of his age or all the past abortions. So eventually she left him for Rick Santorum, whom she now defends against attacks by rabid gays who just will not stop picking on him. What a great pre-primary season! Thank you, reality TV and thank you Grand Old Party for watching MTV.
Meanwhile, Sarah Palin is chewing gum, Herman "Koch" Cain is looking for that elusive book deal, and the two Michelles (Obama and Bachmann) are a little angry, just a little, and everyone else is out of the running except maybe a third-party candidate.